Just chugging along

I always tell people "nothing new, we're just chugging along" or something like that when I'm asked what I've been up to. But what does that mean? What do we do all day, ever day? When Christina 'stayed home' with her boys in Colstrip I really wondered, I was baffled, as to what they could possibly do all day long. Then Peleh came along with his agenda and it became clear.

Now a days Peleh gets up around 7:30 when the sun brightens his window. He grabs his blanket and sucker (pacifier) and comes into bed with me. Sometimes he grabs a book too and if it's light enough we read it, otherwise I toss it somewhere on the bed. Without getting out of bed, or even really sitting up I take Peleh under his arms and lift him over me and plop him on Noah's pillow. Noah is at work already. I tuck Peleh in and we sleep more or he climbs around and jumps on me, brings toys up and drives trucks on my head, or climbs onto Deseo's bed with her. Lately he's been playing a game where he gets his face so close that we almost touch noses and when I open my eyes he cracks up. He taps his chin with thumb and first two fingers and says 'eat, eat.' At that I get up.

While I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth Peleh whines 'eat, eat'. We go downstairs and let the dog out, feed the cat, put Peleh in his seat at the table or he sits on the counter while I get breakfast ready. He loves cereal, French toast, fruit, bagels/English muffins, scrambled eggs, fried eggs, waffles and pancakes, but usually asks for a sandwich.

Then Peleh plays! The dog is back inside and Peleh chases her, drives trucks up and down her back, throws her ball down the basement stairs and tells her 'get it', unloads his bin of stuffed animals, dumps out legos, builds trains, pushes the talk button on Manny the Disney fix-it [fisk-it] guy or we get dressed for a walk.

Peleh loves wearing his snow boots and can't stand it when his mittens are not tucked into his coat sleeve, all the way around. We walk to the park but when the playground is covered in ice or snow we keep going up to the train tracks. While we wait for a train we stomp around in the mud while, if nobody else is around, Deseo chases squirrels. We throw sticks and snowballs. If the terrain is even Peleh loves to run and can keep me at a really fast walk/ really slow jog for 1/4 mile. We wave to the train then say goodbye to the train, 'see you later, in a minute!' and also to the track.

We head home. If we've driven to a further away park Peleh keeps me updated on whether or not we're going 'up up up' or 'down down down'. Sometimes we drive on 'steep hills' and 'stop'. We pass lots of trucks, sometimes ones that look like 'Daddy's truck!'. Once at home we get lunch ready, eat and play for a little bit longer. Then between 1 and 2 Peleh either goes upstairs himself and digs up his blanket and sucker from the pillow we buried them under. Or he gets impatient with everything and I suggest he pick out some books. We lay in bed and read one to six books then sing songs. I love it when he falls asleep during the books but it's usually after I've sung 3 or 4 songs and am bored, or have fallen asleep myself.

One point five to two hours later Peleh is usually awoken by the dogs barking next door. If he's not ready to be awake he cries all the way down the stairs with his blanket and sucker. If he's rested he comes down alone with wide eyes looking for a truck or train.

We play, color, paint, bake, wash the dishes, throw Deseo's ball, dance, watch trains or other tv, eat, tidy, cook, read, and/or fold laundry until Noah gets home. Then we continue with Daddy until bed time and do the nap routine plus 'brush teeth'.

Begin again.

Last night Peleh was playing with puzzles right before bed. We have one of a teddy bear in three parts, heads, shirts, and bottoms, that have different outfits and emotions on the faces. Peleh decided the bear needed a drink of juice. His milk was right there so she had some milk then he cuddled her little happy head. A few minutes later when it was time to go to bed he gave the happy head a kiss, and the sad head, and the sleeping head, and the surprised head, and the other happy head. And his dump truck, and the big truck. Then Daddy.


We flavor our days with trips to the zoo or museums, or to meet Noah for a meal, music class, playdates with friends, shopping, and errands.

It's a lot easier and probably far less tedious for my listeners for me to say "we're just chugging along."

Homesick for Colstrip... ???!

We arrived long term in Colstrip in the middle of May, the 13th. They had had a 12 inch snow storm around the 10th but by the time we pulled into town there were only about 8 inches left, and it was gone within a few days. We enjoyed the exciting beginning of an adventure, a few weeks of spring and then the hot, dry summer hit. The vast openness of the prairie overwhelmed me, the 2 hour time difference from home, "back east", began to feel like a barrier to my few friends and very close family. I was homesick for the familiar.
I began to admire the landscape and its unique beauty. In the fall, as I drove and rode, sometimes multiple times a day, along 212 and 90, as an EMT with the ambulance service, I missed the changing colors (and the trees altogether). Then I noticed the grasses along the highways were changing colors. They were red, purple, and greens. The shrubs and few cottonwoods were orange and gold. It wasn't so desolate and barren, there was color. And most of my 'beauty' memories include snow and ice. I think I liked that so much because it makes even the sagebrush shine.

We loved camping and hiking in the Bighorns, Beartooth Pass, Yellowstone, the Tetons, and Glacier. Renting the fire lookout, mountain biking, Christmas tree poaching in Custer Forest. Trips to Denver, Bozeman, Billings... not so exciting, but more so than Forsyth where we could
get Hong Kong Buffet!

I had good friends and really fun times at work. I enjoyed what I did and who i got to work with.

I loved and miss the adventure of being in Montana, and beginning to feel like we belonged.

Last week I finally changed my license plates and am now officially a Pennsylvanian. I feel less adventurous. The truck still has (expired) MT plates, so until I get that done, I can still pretend I'm more exciting than suburban mom.

I've been spending some time on facebook and checking in on conversations between women in Colstrip and it makes me feel left out. I like to think that if I were back there I might be exchanging ideas about programming at CPRD, or making playdates, and just general friendly comments between neighbors and friends. I remind myself though that I lived there for four years, had built-in friends at work, and still felt lonely. I've been in PA for not a year, have no social interactions that I don't have to create, and generally have spent a good part of most days staying quiet in the house for naps.

That being said, Peleh and I have made a nice little bunch of friends with neighbors and classmates at our weekly Kindermusik classes. Someone said that Moms meeting other Moms is like dating. And it is. I check women out all the time - how old are her kids, is she about my age, does she dress, or otherwise seem to like/value the same things as me - I try to start conversations with hopes to get her phone number and a date! It's a humbling and lonesome process but I'm enjoying what I think and hope is the downhill.

I still feel like I don't have a very big community to which I belong - just a handfull of friends - I do have them and I plan to meet more people. So it's not Colstrip that I long for, it's feeling at home, somewhere that I belong. Maybe that's not normal though. Maybe for anyone who doesn't live where they grew up, feeling at home is too much to expect.

Haiti is breaking my heart

I try not to think about the babies and children who are hurt, scared, hungry, thirsty and getting sicker and sicker. And the mommas and daddies who are too injured to help, or just don't know what to do, or are lost or gone in some form or another.

I want to do something and am struggling to find what it is I can do. I first thought up a plan to coordinate a group of construction professionals who could come together across the Pittsburgh region to unite, design a project, tap into financial resources of their employers, and then travel to Haiti to build it. They could cooperate with an organization already on the ground which could supply language and logistical help. But I don't think it's fair of me to expect those people to do something that I think would be cool. They already have so much on their plates and such sparse spare time. And do I really have the time to create an excellent service organization?

Then I heard about the orphans that two young women from Pittsburgh were caring for in Haiti; and with help from a US congressman and the governor, had flown into Pittsburgh. We could care for a child, temporarily... or permanently. But we're not registered with the state to provide a home and the house needs just too much work. Besides, we don't live in a county that that organization serves, I checked.

I texted $10 to the red cross [the word "Haiti" to the number 90999] but that is not at all the extent of what I think I can do. I'm not a doctor or nurse. I can't design or lead construction projects. I don't really have any career skills to offer. I think I do a good job of being a Mom and I think I could do that but that's not a decision I can make by myself.

Would it be fair for me to leave Peleh for days on end with grandparents so that I can care for a different child? Surely I hope that we're raising a man who would understand that another child needed a momma, even for a few days, while Peleh would be just fine. But he's not a man yet... and maybe I'm too afraid he would be fine without me! And what about Noah? I have a house and home that I make happen here.

This feeling of wanting to do something has been a long time building. Since we started this new suburban-stay-at-home-mom life near Pittsburgh, nine months ago, I have been searching for a way to help people. I signed up to be an adult literacy tutor but that was postponed until the spring. I've been looking for a church home with a servant ministry program. I jot down websites and organizations every time I hear about something that Peleh and I might possibly be able to do together. I have continually found programs that are either not happening right now, are not really close enough, or just won't work with a toddler. And it breaks my heart every time I have to tell myself 'maybe next time'. I'm just not convinced that my whole contribution to the world is a polite, engaging, and well fed son.

I read an editorial that suggests, from a pool of research, that people get similar satisfaction from giving, as from sex and eating. And on every service project I've been a part of the conversation comes up: wouldn't it be more cost effective to have just donated the money I spent on transportation and food, to local workers? Well... in most cases, no... but the point is that the experience of the participants is just as much part of the outcome as the tangible service done.

I'll keep looking, and brainstorming, and hoping for my chance to love and sweat for the benefit of others. And in the mean time I do have a house and home to make happen and I can at least endeavor to do that excellently.

Though the weather outside is frightful...

PelehPants is warm and delightful!

We have been enjoying the first snow of the year, 4 pounds of treats from Grapes, redecorating the tree nightly, wrapping gifts, and getting ready for Christmas with all the Samrases.

It's been fun to work in Santa's workshop. We've been trying to remember what Santa did while when we were young, and what we would like Santa to continue to do for Peleh.

Peleh's been growing fast and increasing his vocabulary daily. A few weeks ago I read that at that time he would be absorbing 10 words a day. It seems like all those words have been processed and are coming back out. He loves to color which has been a great way for him to learn his colors. We've always counted while snapping and buttoning his clothes and how he repeats our numbers with number-like words. He loves to jump and run, climb and dive. He's fascinated by cars, trucks, trains and planes. I need to study what construction vehicles are called because while our friend suggested calling everything unknown 'a digger' I can't get away with that when Noah's around. Peleh loves his 6 and 8 year old cousins and gets to see them now and then. He loves other kids and is very social, saying hi and bye to most people and things we come in contact with. I'm trying to get him to just say "hi" and "bye", not "Hi Guy!" or "Bye Lady!".

Sometimes we video conference online with Aunt Anna and Uncle Sanjay in Charlotte, and he LOVES it! He loves watching himself on 'tv' (the computer), and performs tricks for them and himself. We like singing and will continue our weekly music class after the holidays. Today at church Peleh was with us in the sanctuary after watching the children do the Christmas program. We were singing O Come All Ye Faithful and Peleh wanted to join in so he sang the Eensy Weensy Spider. And he was the only one who clapped after the choir finished their song.

After so many years of not feeling at home at church we finally found one we seem to love. It's a Presbyterian Church USA, like where I grew up, and only 5 minutes from our home. Though it's small, it feels good and we really enjoy it. We've just starting going, but I feel really good to be there.

Polish and American Weddings

In Poland the church service seemed to be a normal Polish Catholic wedding ceremony. Aga's brother and I were the bride's and groom's attendants, being their eldest brother and sister. He and I went into a small side room in the church and signed a document as witnesses to the marriage, then the priest read the vows in English to me so I could advise him on his pronunciation. He was very nervous. Aga's brother and I went into the church and sat separated from the rest of the congregation up front, facing front, just begin Nathan and Aga who sat facing front in the middle. Since I was up front and there was videographer, I didn't look around too much but it was a beautiful old building. It was small though and when we left it seemed like there were many more guests outside than in. Everyone was holding flowers for the bride.

After the service I got in a car with the bride, groom, bride's brother, and her cousin drove. We began to make our way down the street to the reception hall, about a mile and a half away. Polish tradition has friends, neighbors, and passersby stop the procession of wedding vehicles and offer congratulations to the couple, and flowers to the bride. In exchange the bride and groom give the children chocolate and the adults vodka. On that same day there was a town festival going on so there were a lot of people out and about. A few young teenage boys stopped the car, as well as 3 or 4 firefighters who were at their stations for the festival. Every one of them gave Aga flowers they had plucked from somebody's garden or bushes. A group of older ladies stopped the car and had a small table with a pretty lace tablecloth and enough shots poured for themselves, the couple and their attendants. I panicked because I have a gag reflex that doesn't allow me to take a shot unless I really concentrate and I wasn't ready! So I just took a sip. Those ladies gave Nathan and Aga a babydoll for goodluck in having chidren, I guess.

We made it to the reception hall which was a nice, small hotel with the hall downstairs and about 10 rooms upstairs. Upon entering the party Nathan and Aga were met by a server from the catering staff who had a tray with two shots and maybe something to eat, I can't remember. They (maybe ate and) took the shots of vodka then threw the shot glasses over their shoulders hoping to break the glass.

The couple went in and stook towards the back of the hall and received their guests and gifts. Aga's brother and I stood just behind them and collected envelopes and flowers, and some other gifts. The flowers were really creatively arranged and embellished with beads, grasses, and ribbons. An aunt of Aga's is famous in the area for crocheting flowers and she did a bouquet for them too. This receiving line took quite a while and guests sat and begin eating snacks and appetizers. Then Nathan and Aga danced their first dance which was choreographed and done really well. It was a waltz maybe... I don't know but it was really nice and they looked really good and like they were having a good time.

Then everyone took a shot together. And so the party began!

Haha. I prepared myself and took at least 10 shots that night. If I had two in a row I felt it and the room spun a little bit with the band's colored geometric light projections on the floor. But with the orange juice, water, Fanta, black currant juice, and all the food on the table, it was a little difficult to get drunk. There was an open bar but what was the point? The vodka sat on the table ever replenished by the staff. We took shots periodically when the band played a certain song that begin with words that sounded like "star light star light". Everyone sang along and took a shot with the bride and groom. We danced and ate and took shots all night. In my case, if the man I danced with invited me to take a shot with him, I did. If someone at me table had a shot, I did too. If someone made eye contact with me and took a shot, I should have. I took a lot of sips and half shots during the night if they piled on top of each other too quickly. In general all the Americans, none of us who drink too profusely anyway, were careful to keep pace appropriately.

My brother has very good friends, as it turns out. Not a surprise, but it was really nice to meet some of his "Peace Corps" friends. I'd heard of them over the years since he got back from Africa but had never met them. He had been to a wedding, and gone to visit them different times. I think I was jealous and a little disbeleiving that they were good enough friends for him to visit them and not be able to talk to me on the phone, or come and see me. There were three couples who were all in Africa at the same time as him, except one of the women. They all happened to be in Europe in August and came to Poland for the wedding. It was fun to meet them, I always like meeting people, they seemed exotic, being Americans in Poland, and they were the mysterious "Peace Corps" friends. Other than them, and the Samras family and husbands, the 100+ guests were Polish (I assume).

We ate a roast pig, delicious pork knukles which I only tried because I was at a wedding in Poland. Plus one of the Peace Corps friends was feeding some to another (not a couple) and the one receiving the pink little nuggets seemed to be having a little orgasm each time he tasted more. They were good. They served smoked fish that looked fishy and dry but was very moist and very delicious. We had green salad like at Olive Garden, a Polish potato salad which is apparently Nathan's favorite Polish dish. While his choice in favorites is good, it's potato salad! There was so much delicious food there I don't know why he chooses that one. They kept bringing out more and more food. We had to have been served four or five full meals. Trays of pastries and cakes, chocolate covered strawberries. Chocolates, candies and grapes overflowed trays on each table. It was ridiculous. Chicken kabobs, fish in gelatin, sausages, pineapples, pears... Ridiculous.

So we did this all night long. We knew the party was supposed to go all night but I didn't really believe it would, or that I could. At about 2am  Noah took Peleh, who had been sleeping in a room upstairs with a babysitter, and went back to our hotel with Aunt Anna and Uncle Sanjay who needed to be ready for an early morning train ride back to Warsaw for their flight home. I stayed and hung out with my brother Michael. All of a sudden I thought... wait a minute... that's daylight. Wow. It was 5:30 or so and the crowd had dwindled to about 50. There was still a strong group of Aga's parents' friends/family who were singing and dancing. At daybreak they all went outside to sing a song. We stayed and had some more shots and went back to the hotel around 7:30am.

I crawled into bed with Noah and Peleh and slept on and off until about 2pm. Noah and Peleh played in the two playgrounds near our hotel and found food in the restaurant downstairs. Then we all had baths (not many showers in Poland) and got dressed and went down to the lobby and tried to communicate the need to call Aga's parents' home. Her brother manages the hotel, and they assured us that he was on his way to the hotel and we could talk to him then. However, he was at the reception hall which was where we needed to be. Finally somehow a cousin showed up to pick us up and we arrived back at the reception hall.

And the party began... again!

The band was back, the guests were back, the food was back, the drinks... we partied again from about 5pm until at least midnight again. All the same food, brought back out from the fridge. The same band and some of the same songs... same dances... right, right, left. That's the Polish three step.

Polski Polska

About 2 weeks ago we packed our bags with clothes, toys, snacks, shoes, a stroller and backpack carrier, books, magazines, toothbrushes... and headed out the door to Poland. Peleh and I left on a Sunday night and flew from Pittsburgh to JFK New York. We navigated the big airport with little help from staff but made it to the international terminal at about 8pm. The very nice ladies from FinnAir changed our seat to business class so we laid down and slept to Helsinki, Finland for 8 hours. I was pretty nervous about the language that I had no experience with, but everyone's assurances were true and most people spoke at least enough English to help me. Of course I forgot my phone charger and it was dying so I quickly tried to text Noah and the rest of my family to let them know we had made it thus far. And though I had called Verizon ahead of time to make sure I could text I had no signal until we returned to JFK a week and half later. Thanks for nothing.

We made our way from wherever we entered the airport to another terminal and got our passports stamped for the EU. We found one of the strollers that they have in the airport and made our way to our gate. All the announcements and monitors were in English and Finnish, and I think the announcements were in Spanish too. So we were just fine. I found that I felt like an unsophisticated American and kept my mouth shut or my voice low so people wouldn't know. Though everyone we interacted with was so friendly.

Helsinki Vaanta aiport has a few kids' spots sponsored by a children's clothing company so we hung out in those areas which were either totally or mostly contained so Peleh could walk around, learn how to drive, climb the slide, build with blocks, and watch the other kids without me hovering too close to make sure he didn't wander too far. That was really nice.

I still wanted to let Noah know we made it so I swiped my credit card in a telephone kiosk and Skyped with Noah for 5 euros. It was good to talk to him.

We boarded a bus then and drove to the plane and flew for about 2 hours to Warsaw. FinnAir boasts some 'green' practices, one of which being a long slow decent and maybe it was that or just because we didn't go too far, we could see the ground the whole way. It was really beautiful. Finland is full of water and from what I could see at the airport it reminded me of Alaska and Montana. What we could see of Poland from the air was beautiful green agricultural fields in narrow strips unlike the square fields in the US. I could also see long straight railroads lined with trees, and villages grouped here and there. There were also lots of red roofs.

We landed in Warsaw and folllowed the signs to baggage claim, got all our stuff and headed out to meet Mom and Pop. There was a crowd but I spotted Mom/Nita waving and trying to contain her smile. Yay! We made it!

After being helped by the cleaning lady in the bathroom with the applesauce that had exploded on my bag, we hopped a city bus and headed into old town Warsaw. I took lots of pictures and am glad I did because in a few days I did the rout by myself with Peleh on our way to meet Noah. My sense of direction is lacking but having focused on those photos helped a lot. So even though it was evening and the light was fading fast it was so fun to snap lots of pictures of the old town. We stayed in a hostel off the square, and dropped off our stuff then went to the square for some dinner.

Pop chose a nice restaurant on the square and we sat under umbrellas on a platform on the cobblestones. Mom and Pop took turns walking around with Peleh and watching street performers dance with flaming things. We three adults ordered beers to start. I don't really like beer but went with the peer pressure. The beers came and were at least 20 ounces. It was really good and light though so I enjoyed it. The problem was that I hadn't slept nor eaten too much in that last 24 hours so I ended up telling Pop a lot of stories. I tried to pace myself with my huge delicious pork chop which the waitress tried to take from me at least 3 times. It was good practice for the wedding - pacing drinking with eating.

The next morning we headed out to the train and rode for about 2 hours to Krakow. We unloaded our stuff at the Globetrotter hotel/hostel then went out for lunch. We found a nice place down the street and I had some really delicious stuffed cabbage leaves, just like stuffed Greek grape leaves. Mom had some borscht which was delicious. Who knew sugar beets made sweet soup? I headed back with Peleh to lay down at the hotel and on my way out I saw the back of a man with a backpack and dark hair. I thought it was Sanjay, my brother in law, but wasn't sure. Then I saw his back again in the hotel and knew they had arrived! Yippee! They had just flown in from Paris. So we hung out at the hotel for a bit and took naps and relaxed. The we walked around the square and found some dinner. The next day we took a leisurely morning then walked over to the old castle. Then naps and dinner.

In the morning we all got the train back to Warsaw where Mom and Pop left with Anna and Sanjay for Konin, the larger town nearest to Agnieszka's little town Rzgow [schgove]. Peleh and I stayed behind to meet Noah that evening. As they were headed to their train I felt like I was going to vomit, I was so nervous about taking the bus to the hostel, then back to the airport  and buy train tickets for tomorrow... I took a deep breath and we plunged into Warsaw by ourselves.

We were just fine. Like I said I had no problem getting back to the old town. We got bus tickets, train tickets, checked into the hostel, took a nap, bought some snacks, then went back to the airport. I think I could do Poland. I could learn enough language to get by, plus relying heavily on others' English. People also came up to me and talked to me in Polish which made me feel really good. Apparently I didn't look like an unsophisticated American. I also really enjoyed the fashion in Poland. All the women were dressed very nicely. No shorts and not many pants. I think I can dress Polish and feel good.

So we got Noah and enjoyed an evening and morning in Warsaw as a family. It was fantastic. Noah relaxed and really enjoyed something new and different. We had a great family vacation albeit one night alone.

We got our train to Konin and were met by Michael and Aga's brother Pshemik (SP?), Pop, Anna, and Sanjay were there too with Aga's father. And so the wedding excitement began. I'll write about that when I post those pictures. I need to refresh my memory!

my Polish

Thank you = Dziękuję = [ jen koo yeh]

Hello = Dzień dobry = [ jen doh brey]

Enjoy the food = [smuch neygo]

I'm Polish  = [y'stem polka]

Polish 'gold' (money) = [ pohl ski zwal tehr]